tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-111697502024-03-13T11:16:27.319-04:00sean patrick ricesean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-48286138483232219922011-04-24T17:40:00.001-04:002011-04-24T17:41:19.869-04:00my address in alaskai am not sure if this will be my last post before i leave, but i figure i should get this in now, just in case<br />
<br />
Sean Patrick Rice<br />
C/O Fields and Sons, Inc.<br />
P. O. Box 88<br />
Larsen Bay, AK 99624-0088<br />
<br />
if you want me to write you back, please send me a self-addressed, stamped envelope.<br />
<br />
i'm also not above asking you to send me dark chocolate, powdered/tablet drink mixes (gatorade, camelback, etc...), and any other goodies you might feel inclined to send my way.<br />
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this address is good from now until the beginning of october.<br />
<br />
--Seansean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-980121824884682442011-04-10T21:28:00.001-04:002011-04-10T21:31:00.957-04:00time management crackdownI leave for Alaska on April 30th. That is three weeks from yesterday. That means that tomorrow starts the complete crackdown on time management.<br />
<br />
I have a ton of stuff to get done before I leave: finish clearing out of my apartment, pack for Alaska, finish working on my roomate's new house to make it semi-livable for him, finish up another job installing siding on a 3rd floor dormer, Cub Scout obligations, a bunch of other things, and work full time.<br />
<br />
Basically, I have time for working my butt off and sleep.<br />
<br />
And I am not sure I have the time to sleep.<br />
<br />
You might say "Well, you are going to be working long hours as a commercial fisherman in Alaska, so what's the big deal?"<br />
<br />
That would be a correct statement and an excellent question, except that 1) I am not going to have to drive across town to bounce from job to job (wasting valuable time and energy), 2) I am going to have scheduled, hearty meals to eat, and 3) I get several nap times throughout the day as a commercial fisherman (yes, that is true).<br />
<br />
So any and all prayers in the coming weeks for energy, focus, and fortitude would be well appreciated as I desperately try to get stuff done before I head "North to the Future" in less than three weeks. Prayers for sanity, rest, and recreation would be appreciated as well.<br />
<br />
Yikes!sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-83823306890209687892011-03-06T19:44:00.000-05:002011-03-06T19:44:53.869-05:00struggling against the axiomax·i·om<br />
/ˈæksiəm/[ak-see-uhm]<br />
–noun<br />
1.<br />
a self-evident truth that requires no proof.<br />
2.<br />
a universally accepted principle or rule.<br />
3.<br />
Logic, Mathematics . a proposition that is assumed without proof for the sake of studying the consequences that follow from it. <br />
<br />
(from Dictionary.com)<br />
<br />
<br />
Grow up, go to school, get a job, work, work, work, get married, work, work, work, have kids, buy a house, work, work, work, die.<br />
<br />
if it helps, picture the house to be in the suburbs with a white picket fence.<br />
<br />
that is what most people expect of their lives and feel is expected of them.<br />
<br />
then there are the brave few who decide that the common prescription is not right for them. they are the ones we admire who chase their dreams and live the lives we want to live<br />
<br />
travel. adventure. LIFE.<br />
<br />
yet we so often fall into the common path; the rut carved deep by those who have gone before us--our fathers and grandfathers and forefathers before that. for most of us in America, however, there is at least one ancestor who decided to take the shady, overgrown trail from his or her home country and move to America.<br />
<br />
so where did the idea and decision come to us that we are to do what society says is expected of us?<br />
<br />
on a whim, i decided to design a ten-year plan of adventure... and it was somewhat remarkable that when i did a financial analysis of it, i came out ahead of the "non-adventure" path. and i was being incredibly conservative with my analysis.<br />
<br />
how is it then that i am to stay in the rut? the only answer i can come up with is the feigned security of it. yes, feigned. nothing is certain.<br />
<br />
yet, i still want that house and wife and kids... but who is to say that cannot come during the adventure?<br />
<br />
this, of course, if following along in the lines of thought that have been pervasive through out my posts the past year (or longer)... i am finding a strange sense of security about the idea of doing what i want to do and rolling with the punches that may come my way... kind of like being in a kayak and tipping over, only to roll back up.<br />
<br />
so i am thinking that the axiom is wrong and it's supposed benefits to be a fabrication to make the shackles look a little less ominous, and a bit more comfortable....sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-80997504639673853202011-03-03T02:14:00.000-05:002011-03-03T02:14:03.267-05:00surrenderit seems like such a dirty word,<br />
<br />
<b><i>surrender</i></b><br />
<br />
one commonly thinks of having one's back against the wall, of not having a choice or the only choice to be to live our die<br />
<br />
in part, that is correct. the choice to live or to die.<br />
<br />
but what if surrender means TO DIE?<br />
<br />
i am besieged by fear and doubt. and i am surrendering. but not to that fear and doubt and all my rational thoughts. i am surrendering to something quite the opposite, yet at the same time riddled with death, but the death that can only bring life...<br />
<br />
i am stepping out in faith. faith that i am doing the right thing. faith that in doing what i said i would do, things will work for the better.<br />
<br />
it is death to the fear and doubt--and to myself. it is trusting in something bigger than me. trusting that i will be taken care of and looked after. and it might be hard. it might be that the hardest is yet to come.<br />
<br />
i surrendersean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-84211949008705157772011-02-17T03:00:00.002-05:002011-03-27T20:52:57.994-04:00A Life DocumentaryI'm not about to pretend that I don't say or do stupid stuff all the time. My Facebook and this blog are living proof of that.<br />
<br />
Neither am I going to pretend that I am going to stop. Ever.<br />
<br />
Thirty seems to be an odd, interesting, exciting time in my life. I think I am finally old enough to be smart, but still young enough to be stupid...or something like that. I have finally decided that it is high time to pursue my dreams and make them a reality--to do things I've always wanted to do but just lacked the testicular fortitude to endure.<br />
<br />
I couldn't tell you when this breakthrough happened, because it has been a gradual process. I can't tell you why this happened, because it is so multifaceted. And I won't tell you that I don't have a screw loose--because I just might.<br />
<br />
I have always enjoyed writing, as long as I ignored the concept of deadlines (though I am getting better on that issue), and so this past year I have made an effort to write more. What I have found in that is 1) my writing has improved a little bit and I am beginning to write more confidently and consistently in what teachers/instructors/professors have called my "unique writing voice", 2) I am maturing (sort of), changing and coming into my own as a person (even though I was led to believe this was supposed to happen earlier in life), and 3) I am reading more of what other people write and it excites me and makes me wonder if I can have that same impact on a reader.<br />
<br />
So here I am, writing about my life and experiences for others to read and maybe take something away from.<br />
<br />
While I am in Alaska this summer, I do not know if I will be able to post, but i am leaning towards "most likely not". I will, however, be writing a lot when I have the time an energy to do so and my life is not being sucked away by saltwater and salmon. I may even write my posts in letters and have someone else post for me. My primary (and only?) form of contact with the outside would will be through handwritten letters, so when I have the address all of my fan and hate mail should be sent to, I will keep you apprised by posting it here, on my blog.<br />
<br />
It is now 3am, so I think I will try to catch some sleep...my schedule has been a bit funny since I was deathly ill on Saturday and slept all day, followed by a strange day Sunday and then starting Sunday night on an 11pm-3am shift for a few days in a row....<br />
<br />
Oh, and if you read my blog, share it with friends.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-69376269616334606632011-02-16T19:27:00.001-05:002011-02-17T03:06:57.558-05:00Fear and DiscouragementI am excited about going to Alaska, don't get me wrong, but where the excitement and reality meet is where I am finding a little bit of fear and discouragement.<br />
<br />
I leave for Alaska in just about two months. Currently work is slow and I am collecting unemployment, which is a LOT less money than I make when I am working. I have bills stacking up that I need to take care of before I leave, I have to buy all my rain gear, boots, and commercial crewman fishing license before I go...<br />
<br />
I find myself in a particularly strange place of complete and total reliance on God. I have little control over how much money I am making right now, and after running the numbers a few times over, I find that I am in a much tighter financial circumstance than anyone in their right mind would want to be before heading all the way across the country to work for six months at a job that will not pay anything until the contract term is over.<br />
<br />
Fear and discouragement are creeping in, yet, by leaning on God and trusting Him, there is an almost disconcerting amount of peace that I am feeling in the midst of it. I was praying for this job and the experience it will bring me, if that is what God wanted... and it is what I have--along with a few challenges and faith.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-1938071945567175492011-02-15T23:25:00.000-05:002011-02-17T03:06:57.559-05:00"Please find attached a contract to work... from May 2nd through October 7th, 159 days."After decades of dreaming, years of yearning... eh.. forget the alliteration.<br />
<br />
I applied to work in Alaska for the summer at the end of December and after a little over a month, I got offered a contract on February 8th.<br />
<br />
Whoot! the dream is becoming a reality!<br />
<br />
Now all I need to do is sell over half the stuff I own, find some (hopefully) temporary housing for my dog, fly to Alaska, and start work--all in two month's time.<br />
<br />
YIKES!sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-63023735257849342852011-02-07T19:52:00.003-05:002011-02-07T20:13:56.057-05:00When I get ambitious, someone is in trouble... and it's ususally meBeing laid off sucks. I have too much free time. I do next to nothing with this free time, because I am waiting to be called back to work. I have, however been perusing the internet and reading all sorts of blogs, articles, and the like....<br />
<br />
It occurred to me today that I should try to combine some of my ideas, interests, and passions into a money making endeavour. Now, this type of thought has crossed my mind before, and I've even come up with this exact same idea, but it swept over me like a wave this evening.<br />
<br />
Some evident things:<br />
<dd><br />
1) I work as a carpenter<br />
2) I like rock climbing<br />
3) I like to be creative and working with customers to create unique designs and solutions.</dd><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BOOM!</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">How about starting a company that specializes in designing and building home climbing gyms?</span> It serves a growing niche market, I wouldn't always have to build, as there are a lot of DIYers out there, but I could serve as a consultant as well....<br />
<br />
After a Google search, it doesn't seem that there are any other companies in the area offering this kind of service.<br />
<br />
Sweet.... now does anybody who took business classes in college want to help me write a business plan up so I can try to get some small business grants?sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-19445785994807987172011-02-07T13:12:00.001-05:002011-02-07T13:12:44.361-05:00When I turned 30Eight months ago,when I turned thirty, and the year leading up to it, I set some goals for myself. Technically, I have not broken any of those goals--they were not "when I TURN thirty" goals, they were "when I AM thirty" goals. An example of this would be "I am going to quit smoking when I am thirty"... Well, I still smoke on occasion, and I am still 30. I technically have to quit before I am thirty-one otherwise i have broken my goal (I love the English language)<br /><br />So here I am, thirty years old, and I am going to start running again for the first time since high school.<br /><br />I have always been moderately physically active. I am a rock climber, kayaker (is that a word?), hiker, backpacker, mountain and road cyclist. I've even been known to run once or twice during a game of ultimate frisbee or just for fun, but I have not run for the sake of running and fitness since I was on the rowing team in the fall of my senior year of high school... I'm not good at math, but that was over a decade ago.<br /><br />So, as I sit here on my couch writing this post, I am downloading some podcasts to listen to when I start running using the Couch-to-5k Running Program (the program can be found at http://www.coolrunning.com. Podcasts are scattered all over the internet).<br /><br />I may start today or tomorrow... or never.... But I did just buy a new pair of shoes that happen to be "running shoes". I didn't really buy them with the intention of running in mind, but I guess the idea was tucked back in some fold in my gray matter somewhere.<br /><br />Here's to a healthier next 30 years!sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-71162578972666575132011-02-04T14:32:00.000-05:002011-02-04T15:03:07.251-05:00PlasteredSince I am laid off right now, I am working on both my mother's and father's houses. My dad put an addition on his house to move his father up from Florida, and while we finished the downstairs part of it (my grandpa's "apartment") the upstairs is still not finished or tied into the rest of the house. Access, currently, is through a closet, and there are some floor elevation issues as well as needing to reroute some ductwork and frame for a new hallway to tie everything in. My mother's house has some plaster damage on the ceilings and walls which I need to attend to, as well as the subsequent painting. There are also a few odds and ends like putting a switch to the light in the laundry room (it is currently a pull chain light) and drilling out under the kitchen cabinets to run a water line to the refrigerator for the ice maker.<br /><br />Today I am at my mom's house and I am waiting for the coat of mud on he walls and ceiling patches to dry (hence the time to write this post). As I am looking around at the walls and ceilings, I am noticing that other than the one wall I am working on, the walls are in pretty good shape (I think the plaster is about 60 years old) but the ceiling leaves much to be desired. the areas I am patching are not large, but where the old wall for the kitchen used to be before this house was remodeled some 40 years ago, as well as where old paint and plaster peeled or flaked YEARS ago and got painted over look, in my opinion, like crap. So that begs the question "Do I skim the whole ceiling flat, patch the areas I need to and try to blend the brush texture back in, or do I re-texture the entire ceiling?"<br /><br />I already know that I am going to match the existing brush texture on the wall by skimming the whole surface after I am done with the patches and putting a new texture back on. It will be the easiest way to blend things back together, but the ceiling is much more surface area, obviously overhead (and who really likes working overhead), and I am just not sure what would be best for me to do in terms of my time and energy, as well as for the house (thinking future resale value). Right now I'm thinking about skimming the obvious area and then re-texturing by rolling either loose, wet mud or using texture paint.<br /><br />Anyone else have any ideas for me?sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-23844680303916417652010-09-07T19:33:00.002-04:002010-09-07T19:54:39.995-04:00injuries and sicknessHi, my name is Sean, and I am a rock climber with tendinitis.<br /><br />Sounds like something I might stand up and say at an injured climbers support group.<br /><br />Unfortunately, if that is the right word, I don't have tendinitis from climbing, I have it from working. That is right, I have a work related injury that prevents me from doing something I love to do. Now, when you are done crying for me--as you surely are--, please know that this injury might be a good thing.<br /><br />What?<br /><br />Yes, a good thing. It has enabled me to take stock of my life and what is important to me. The tendinitis, along with this nagging fatigue that seems to have become my existence, have forced me to slow down and examine where I am, where I was, and where I want to be... and I realized that I am lost, I have a broken compass, and my map is nowhere to be found.<br /><br />Rule #1 when you are lost: stay put.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-65147188492878714022010-06-11T23:04:00.006-04:002010-06-11T23:36:13.947-04:00i've been doing a lot of thinking recently... and when i say a lot, i mean A LOT. in fact, WAY too much to write about right here, right now.<br /><br />i will say this, however:<br /><br />one of the big things i've been thinking about and trying to wrap my head around is the concept of "what is the responsible thing to do?". i think for years now, i have been "playing it safe" under the guise of "being responsible". that, in itself, seems to me to be <span style="font-style:italic;">irresponsible</span>. i believe, in many cases, following one's dreams and desires is the more responsible thing to do.<br /><br />a friend said this to me the other day:<br /><br /><blockquote>"I am a firm believer in the idea that if you work hard, do things for yourself, follow your dreams (no matter how crazy they may seem to others), and make your priority over all other things feeling content with yourself, that all will fall into place. Sometimes it sucks, and patience is a word to loathe, but at the end of the day life is in your hands and dependent on the decisions and risks you are willing to take. Moral of the story (and I am well aware that this sounds cheesy as hell)... if you want to go to Alaska, go to Alaska. If you want to climb in all 50 states, climb in all 50 states. If you want to finish school, finish school. If you want to switch jobs, switch jobs. Its hard, incredibly hard, to break out of the familiar... but the world is huge and every corner of it is worth exploring because you never know what (a job, a person, a moment, a vista...) you might find."<br /><br />--ep</blockquote><br /><br />does this seem like a re-hash of theme of previous posts, or is it a theme that is emerging...? in any case, i might have to investigate this further and write more about it, because i do not think i am the only one plagued by this type of situation and dilemma.<br /><br />-----------------------<br /><br />*edit*<br /><br />yeah, i should also mention that i am going to be laying down a big chunk of change this year to get my Wilderness First Responder certification (a step up from Wilderness First Aid) and i also am going to be applying to work as a fisherman in Alaska for NEXT summer and i will be saving up a huge amount of money between now and then so i can be sure that if i am hired i can go...sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-88022793650746645642010-06-02T23:30:00.002-04:002010-06-02T23:55:01.906-04:00spr episode 30: a new goalPlease forgive the horribly inept Star Wars reference that is the title of this post.<br /><br />As I was cruising around on facebook this evening--as I normally do--trolling the internet for cheap amusement and a farce of a muse, I inadvertently set a goal for myself that I believe I will hold myself to:<br /><br />Between now and my 40th birthday, I will rock climb, boulder, or ice climb in all 50 states.<br /><br />If you do the math, that averages out to be 5 states a year (the last time i checked, anyhow).<br /><br />This means that 1) I need to travel more, 2) I need to plan for travel more, 3) I need to find people that might be willing to help me out on this endeavour.<br /><br />Now to some, this may seem like no big deal. And it isn't. Except that in the first 30 years of my life, I have been in less than half of the states, and most of those were when I was just driving though. <br /><br />I obviously don't get out much.<br /><br />This year I hope to knock out Ohio, West Virginia, Kentucky, Washington (God willing...), Indiana (maybe), and of course, Pennsylvania. I can easily do 4 of those, but I am setting my sights high and going for a few more.<br /><br />I think I might go to the store, get some poster board, draw an artistic interpretation of the general shape of the country with the state borders (or coerce an artistic friend to do it for me) and use that as my checklist... I might even use some gold stars or stickers or something.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Dang, now I'm excited.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-9065687163440809642010-02-17T02:22:00.003-05:002010-02-17T02:29:46.324-05:00cabin fever... sort ofit is 2:23am on wednesday morning. i was asleep. i was dreaming. and a head over heels crash into a snow dusted boulder woke me up.<br /><br />this has become a growing problem. while i am growing a bit tired of the snow and cold and being inside, i think my main frustration is that i am not out IN the snow and cold. i have cabin fever, but i don't want to run off to a sunny beach. i want to ski. i want to snowboard. i want to get good.<br /><br />i want powder.<br /><br />i've never been an adrenaline junkie. i thought my quarter-life crisis was over, and i think this is too early for a mid-life crisis. so what is it?<br /><br />now, all juiced up with adrenaline and excitement, i need to try to get back to sleep so i can get up and go to work in 4 hours... <br /><br />i'm thinking i might go skiing afterward.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-4409990375819035622010-01-05T21:43:00.003-05:002010-01-28T02:52:34.150-05:00Alaska (chapter 3, the chapter before intermission)I pulled the plug.<br /><br />I hate that.<br /><br />After a temporary layoff from carpentry in the late fall, I knew things were going to be tight financially to be able to afford a ticket to Alaska and keep my finances in order at home in my absence. I just got another temporary layoff again which pretty much blows my financing of my personal adventure out of the water. Sure, I could skip town and not pay my bills for a few months and then catch up when I got back, but I have spent most of my mid- and late-20's getting out of the financial hole I dug for myself in my early 20's, and I do not want to do anything to jeopardize the progress that I have made, not to mention the effect it would have on other people as well.<br /><br />So, I am not going to Alaska this summer to work as a commercial salmon setnetter. =c(<br /><br />There are other factors behind my decision other than financial. My Grandfather is getting up in years, and I want to be able to spend as much time with him as possible; my cousin is getting married this summer; I just signed a year long apartment lease (which kind of fits into the financial category as well); I've still got a ton of boxes and stuff to sort through and throw out from YEARS of being a pack rat.<br /><br />Looking at all these reasons as I type them, they all seem like excuses. Maybe they are excuses, but at the same time, they are all valid reasons. I thought and prayed hard about this, and it is painful for me to have to pull the plug on myself. Hopefully, I can apply again next year, and possibly get hired. In the meantime, I am going to work on my photography skills, my writing skills, take some more classes and keep working toward my degree, renew my Wilderness First Aid certification (and possibly pursue Wilderness First Responder or even Wilderness EMT), go skiing, rock climbing, backpacking, hiking, swimming, kayaking, etc., all while planning and saving for Alaska in 2011.<br /><br />I feel like I rushed myself into it this year. I knew, and know, it is something I want to do, but I feel ill-prepared for the venture at this point, financially, as I mentioned, as well as getting other things in my life in order.<br /><br />Like I said though, in the meantime I am going to live for my normal pursuits and adventures. If you want to join me, or want me to join you, feel free to ask.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-9269033099199069652010-01-05T21:41:00.001-05:002010-01-05T21:42:36.431-05:00weather appropriate poetrywritten march 2007 in response to something that someone else wrote....:<br /><br /><br />it is snowing again tonight. as i watch the flakes drift softly down towards the ground, occasionally interrupted by a gust of wind, i am reminded of you. i see the sparkle of your eyes in every flake that catches at least the slightest edge of light and reflects it back into my eyes.<br /><br />the softness with which it lays--white and delicate--on the ground reminds me of the softness of your skin. it reminds me of the places on your back and arms and legs which the sun has not seen for at least many months.<br /><br />the quietness makes my head and heart swell with visions of sitting with you; quiet and close. not saying a word to each other not because we are angry, or cannot communicate, but because we do not need to speak to enjoy each other. to enjoy the company of a dear friend who has become so much more is perhaps the greatest pleasure and aspiration life has to offer.<br /><br />and the cold should not bother me much as long as i have you by my side. there is a warmth emanating from the depths of your soul, the apex of which i wish both to be able to stand upon and also never to find.<br /><br />and beauty. oh, if only you could have the vision of my eyes for just one moment as i look at you. you are most beautiful. you beauty enraptures and encompasses all of my senses until i am completely spent and all i can touch, see, smell, taste, and breathe, is you. it is both debilitating and strengthening--holding me suspended in mid-air as if i were floating--no! flying! because to float would be too idle a task after an encounter of your beauty.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-55354911007113382042009-12-01T20:32:00.000-05:002009-12-01T20:43:29.060-05:00Alaska (part two)So, after a month or so of emailing back and forth with someone "in the know" about commercial fishing in Alaska, I finally sent off an email to her uncle, who is a commercial fisherman. I am still waiting to hear back.... and trying to do so patiently.<br /><br />I feel good about pursuing this, and as more and more people find out that I am trying to get to Alaska next summer to have an adventure, and hopefully make some GOOD money while doing so, I get more and more offers from people to put me in contact with other people they know that can put me in contact with people in Alaska that might hire me. Re-read that last sentence if you need to. The more I attempt to pursue this though, with no real replies, the more I feel like it is somewhat of a pipe dream. I have an intense desire to go, but I also know that it is dependent on having a job to go to, and therefore, somewhat out of my control. I know that it makes logical sense to take up EVERYONE on their offers to get me connected up there, but at the same time I feel like I should wait and see what happens with my first (and at this point, my only) connection.<br /><br />*********************<br /><br />Well... I wrote that a week or so ago, planned to write more, but got busy and forgot... in the meantime, I GOT AN EMAIL BACK!!!<br /><br />Of course I need to go through a normal application process, but I finally feel like I am actually headed somewhere.<br /><br />I'll write more again later... right now I am sick and running a fever and am reaching my limit of coherent thought at the moment.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-77200959952984680342009-09-27T02:29:00.003-04:002009-09-27T03:05:13.015-04:00Alaska (part one of many)I almost don't know where to begin.<br /><br />Ever since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of Alaska. I read Jack London's books feverishly, hanging on the descriptions of the landscape and painting the muddy, icy, snow swept landscape in my mind, fueled by photographs I saw in books and magazines. On trips to the library with my mother, brother and sister, I would stare at these majestic landscapes of mountains and sea, burning them into my mind. Somewhere along the way, I decided I wanted to move there, to be there to take it all in, for myself, in person. I also dreamed of working on a fishing boat in the Alaskan waters (never mind that I hated touching fish at all) earning almost enough money to live on for the rest of the year. This closely resembled my desire to go to Ireland and work as a fisherman as well.<br /><br />Since my early twenties, I have wanted to leave Pittsburgh--this city that years later I have grown to love and appreciate. Over the past few years I have made half-assed attempts to find employment elsewhere, mostly in the outdoor or environmental fields. I have always stopped short due to fear. Fear of the unknown and leaving a semi-comfortable, yet unfulfilled and longing life for something that I was not sure of.<br /><br />Last year, at twenty-eight years of age, I went skiing for the first time ever, and started snowboarding. I had tried snowboarding many years earlier, in high school, but since I couldn't pick it up right away, most of the people I went with on a few trips had been doing it since they were in diapers, and my family did not have the money to allow me to do such things regularly, I didn't pursue it any further. This excursion in my late twenties opened up my eyes and gave me light to see that I was not too old to try new things. I love skiing and snowboarding and I know I will be out every chance that I get this season.<br /><br />The revalation that skiing and snowboarding brought me, along with my drive to get out of Pittsburgh, and my desire for nearly two decades to fish in Alaska, has brought me just to that exact point.<br /><br />I am applying to a job in Alaska to work as a fisherman.<br /><br />I am hoping that the other skills that I possess (wilderness first aid and carpentry, specifically) will also be of service in helping me to land a job. I am frightened and cautious. Good money is not guaranteed, by any means. It could be a crap season or the market prices could be pathetic and meager. The first step if for me to apply. I might not even get the job. But I need to apply. Thinking about moving to Alaska stirs up something deep within me that cannot be ignored. So many other times in looking for jobs I was excited but stopped just short of applying due to fear. I cannot do that here; not out of determination, but out of obedience to the stirrings in my soul. a job is not even guaranteed, but I will need to apply before I give up, unlike so many times before.<br /><br />In all my soul stirrings and romanticizing of a personal Alaskan fishing adventure, I am fully aware that for as much as I am trying to run TO something, I am also trying to run away. The 'running away' part is not fully solidified in my head as of yet, and it may never be, but I know that it is due to feeling stagnant, needing an escape and adventure away from an otherwise semi-predictable path, and the result of failed relationships that still weigh heavily on my heart, mind, and soul. I would be remiss to brush this reality off or to try to hide it, so I will not.<br /><br />As I apply to the job and pursue it further, I am sure I will write more about it. IF you are interested in what will transpire, stay tunedsean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-82198532764842778492009-09-04T15:10:00.003-04:002010-09-07T19:32:10.371-04:00i want to be in the wildernessIt is 3pm and I am at home because I had a short day at work, unexpectedly. If I was not so tired, and didn;t work six or seven days a week, I would be sorting through my outdoor gear and getting stuff together to go camping, just because I can. The problem is that since i work six of seven days a week, that means that I work tomorrow, and I cannot go camping...(just as a side note/quick thought, technically I could go camping at somewhere not too far a away and still make it to work at REI tomorrow on time... except that I am going to dinner tonight with someone).<br /><br />I do not get out nearly as much as i want to because<br />1. I am busy and work 6 to 7 days a week<br />2. I don' think that anyone can come with me on a spur of the moment trip, and i am getting tired of solo trips with my dog.<br />3. I am too busy to actually plan a trip, and as far as I know, no one else has planned one far enough in advance that would allow me enough time to request off of work, or find someone to cover my shift.<br />4. I also get paid to lead music at a church several times a month on sunday mornings.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong: I LOVE (love, love, love, love, love, love, love times infinity) working at REI. Not to mention that I have health insurance because I work at REI part-time (one of the top 100 companies to work for!). It is just that for all the gear that I have, and as much as I love going out, I only have four bag nights logged, only two of which are consecutive, and three hours in or on the water, total.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-9657501431055869572009-09-03T23:49:00.001-04:002009-09-03T23:50:25.704-04:00writer's block?i hate it when i want to write, but i don't know about what, and can't hold a cohesive thought in my mind.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-26798931290805434102009-08-30T23:58:00.007-04:002009-08-31T00:24:15.804-04:00a sudden realizationI am 29 years old.<br /><br />Twenty-nine.<br /><br />For the first time that I can remember in my life, I no longer have an overwhelming urge and drive to find a wife and 'settle down' and get married and have kids.<br /><br />I have had that desire as far bask as I can remember--since nursery school. Part of me feels like I somehow just gave up without letting myself know, but I know that is not the case. I have slowly realized this over the past week. I do not know when, exactly, this change occurred, but the slow realization over the past week became a sudden realization tonight.<br /><br />For sure, I still have the desire to start a family. I believe that it is a strong part of me, but now it is not a main drive. It seems to me like I should feel lost without this, but I do not. I feel strangely at peace, and I even question my desire to have my own children someday. I do not know if I feel that it is necessary in my life.<br /><br />To some of you, this will be a great shock. I know it is to me.<br /><br />I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in anybody. I am. But we are not together, and it doesn't seem like we will be anytime soon, if ever at all.<br /><br />I do not know what this means. Not in the least bit. Maybe somewhere inside of me, I finally surrendered it to God completely. Maybe I am just tired of the major hurt from the two relationships that I thought for SURE would result in marriage. Maybe I am learning patience in waiting. Maybe I have given up. There is no test for this; no scientific method to test what the reason is.<br /><br />I think, in part, it might be that I am relearning what love is. Not just romantic love either. All love. I have been forced, by things out of my control, to rearrange the ways that I think and feel about certain individuals. I have forced myself to rearrange the way I feel about certain individuals.<br /><br />I know that this is not just a short, passing phase. It is here to stay for a while. It might even stay until it is clear to me who I will marry, of if I will marry. Again--the desire is still there, it is just not as huge and driving as it has been. It is like the difference between a shadow on a full sunny day and an overcast day with very low light; the shadow is still there, it is just faint and blends in with the other shadows and the light.<br /><br />Here's to peace, love, and healing.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-11099851770072952802009-08-30T15:03:00.002-04:002009-08-30T15:07:54.721-04:00what do you do with a kayak that doesn't belong to you when you are about to move?So, the other night when I was walking my dog, two young boys (mid teens?) were<br />carrying a kayak down the street, which seemed suspicious to me,<br />especially at that late hour. As I got closer to them, one of the<br />boys asked me if I wanted to buy a 'canoe'. Assuming it was stolen, I<br />pretended to get angry and said it was my kayak and I was walking<br />around the neighborhood looking for it. My pretend anger and large<br />dog must have been enough persuasion for the boys, because they<br />dropped the kayak and ran off. I carried it back to my place (only a few blocks), where<br />it is in safe storage, locked up.<br /><br />Now, The question is what to do with this kayak. I posted to the neighborhood listserv, and got a few responses commending me for the action I took, but no one has claimed it yet. The problem is that I am also moving, and I really don't think that I have the room to store this stranger's kayak while I wait for them to respond. And what happens if I get no response? Do i keep it? Can I keep it?<br /><br />What would you do with a kayak that does not belong to you when you are about to move?sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-91899016069244784842009-08-30T00:18:00.001-04:002009-08-30T00:19:48.267-04:00read this blogshe is great<br /><br />funny, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, satirical, and great<br /><br /><a href="http://gigigriffis.wordpress.com/">life done write</a>sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-59016783683656375112009-08-29T22:17:00.003-04:002009-08-29T22:31:36.617-04:00am i narcissistic?this is a good question to ask oneself when you find that you are constantly blogging, thinking about blogging, and posting to twitter and facebook.<br /><br />i do not find my life to be overly interesting or stimulating, which is perhaps one of the reasons that i post so much--to make it seem like i am more interesting that i am. not to others of course, but to myself. i mean, how else am i going to chronicle my ideas and life, other than in a paper journal with a pen. a paper and pen are so 20th century. this is the 21 century.<br /><br />i like writing (unless it is for a school assignment, then i avoid it like the plague). i am a bit of a lyricist and i enjoy manipulating the english language within a written piece of work, whether it be an essay, short story, blog post, or the tight character count confines of a tweet (twitter) or status update (facebook).<br /><br />so what is the definition of narcissism? lets ask <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/narcism">http://dictionary.com</a>:<br /><br />nar⋅cis⋅sism<br />–noun<br />1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.<br />2. Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.<br /><br /><br />hmmm... it would seem that i might be narcissistic. crap. though it does say "inordinate"... i'm pretty awesome, so is it really inordinate?<br /><br />just something that i've been thinking about this week and today.. i mean, as i am driving down the road i think of things randomly and say to myself "that would make an awesome status update!".<br /><br />that's something for me to think about as i change my guitar strings and plan my next blog post.sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11169750.post-41051553094271426662009-08-29T21:14:00.004-04:002009-08-29T21:35:15.963-04:00i am a gearheadSo.. it is no great secret that I work at REI here in the southside works. It is a GREAT place to work (i've been there 3 1/2 years part time... I'd have left by now if it was "typical retail")<br /><br />One downside to working at REI is that I think I spend more money there because I work there, than if I did not. However, that may not be the case, because I am a gearhead, or a recovering gearhead, or a gearhead that lapses in recovery, or....something.<br /><br />I like outdoor gear. It is cool. It is interesting. Some things serve one purpose, some serve more. But it costs money. Lots and lots of money.<br /><br />Really this post has not much of a point, other than to point you in the direction of a resource for information that I use.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.geartalkwithjasonklass.com/">http://www.geartalkwithjasonklass.com/</a><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Dude has great reviews and does his homework/research well.<br /></div></div>sean patrick ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15756931516763225000noreply@blogger.com0