my address in alaska

i am not sure if this will be my last post before i leave, but i figure i should get this in now, just in case

Sean Patrick Rice
C/O Fields and Sons, Inc.
P. O. Box 88
Larsen Bay, AK 99624-0088

if you want me to write you back, please send me a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

i'm also not above asking you to send me dark chocolate, powdered/tablet drink mixes (gatorade, camelback, etc...), and any other goodies you might feel inclined to send my way.

this address is good from now until the beginning of october.

--Sean

time management crackdown

I leave for Alaska on April 30th. That is three weeks from yesterday. That means that tomorrow starts the complete crackdown on time management.

I have a ton of stuff to get done before I leave: finish clearing out of my apartment, pack for Alaska, finish working on my roomate's new house to make it semi-livable for him, finish up another job installing siding on a 3rd floor dormer, Cub Scout obligations, a bunch of other things, and work full time.

Basically, I have time for working my butt off and sleep.

And I am not sure I have the time to sleep.

You might say "Well, you are going to be working long hours as a commercial fisherman in Alaska, so what's the big deal?"

That would be a correct statement and an excellent question, except that 1) I am not going to have to drive across town to bounce from job to job (wasting valuable time and energy), 2) I am going to have scheduled, hearty meals to eat, and 3) I get several nap times throughout the day as a commercial fisherman (yes, that is true).

So any and all prayers in the coming weeks for energy, focus, and fortitude would be well appreciated as I desperately try to get stuff done before I head "North to the Future" in less than three weeks. Prayers for sanity, rest, and recreation would be appreciated as well.

Yikes!

struggling against the axiom

ax·i·om
   /ˈæksiəm/[ak-see-uhm]
–noun
1.
a self-evident truth that requires no proof.
2.
a universally accepted principle or rule.
3.
Logic, Mathematics . a proposition that is assumed without proof for the sake of studying the consequences that follow from it.

(from Dictionary.com)


Grow up, go to school, get a job, work, work, work, get married, work, work, work, have kids, buy a house, work, work, work, die.

if it helps, picture the house to be in the suburbs with a white picket fence.

that is what most people expect of their lives and feel is expected of them.

then there are the brave few who decide that the common prescription is not right for them. they are the ones we admire who chase their dreams and live the lives we want to live

travel. adventure. LIFE.

yet we so often fall into the common path; the rut carved deep by those who have gone before us--our fathers and grandfathers and forefathers before that. for most of us in America, however, there is at least one ancestor who decided to take the shady, overgrown trail from his or her home country and move to America.

so where did the idea and decision come to us that we are to do what society says is expected of us?

on a whim, i decided to design a ten-year plan of adventure... and it was somewhat remarkable that when i did a financial analysis of it, i came out ahead of the "non-adventure" path. and i was being incredibly conservative with my analysis.

how is it then that i am to stay in the rut? the only answer i can come up with is the feigned security of it. yes, feigned. nothing is certain.

yet, i still want that house and wife and kids... but who is to say that cannot come during the adventure?

this, of course, if following along in the lines of thought that have been pervasive through out my posts the past year (or longer)... i am finding a strange sense of security about the idea of doing what i want to do and rolling with the punches that may come my way... kind of like being in a kayak and tipping over, only to roll back up.

so i am thinking that the axiom is wrong and it's supposed benefits to be a fabrication to make the shackles look a little less ominous, and a bit more comfortable....

surrender

it seems like such a dirty word,

surrender

one commonly thinks of having one's back against the wall, of not having a choice or the only choice to be to live our die

in part, that is correct. the choice to live or to die.

but what if surrender means TO DIE?

i am besieged by fear and doubt. and i am surrendering. but not to that fear and doubt and all my rational thoughts. i am surrendering to something quite the opposite, yet at the same time riddled with death, but the death that can only bring life...

i am stepping out in faith. faith that i am doing the right thing. faith that in doing what i said i would do, things will work for the better.

it is death to the fear and doubt--and to myself. it is trusting in something bigger than me. trusting that i will be taken care of and looked after. and it might be hard. it might be that the hardest is yet to come.

i surrender

A Life Documentary

I'm not about to pretend that I don't say or do stupid stuff all the time. My Facebook and this blog are living proof of that.

Neither am I going to pretend that I am going to stop. Ever.

Thirty seems to be an odd, interesting, exciting time in my life. I think I am finally old enough to be smart, but still young enough to be stupid...or something like that. I have finally decided that it is high time to pursue my dreams and make them a reality--to do things I've always wanted to do but just lacked the testicular fortitude to endure.

I couldn't tell you when this breakthrough happened, because it has been a gradual process. I can't tell you why this happened, because it is so multifaceted. And I won't tell you that I don't have a screw loose--because I just might.

I have always enjoyed writing, as long as I ignored the concept of deadlines (though I am getting better on that issue), and so this past year I have made an effort to write more. What I have found in that is 1) my writing has improved a little bit and I am beginning to write more confidently and consistently in what teachers/instructors/professors have called my "unique writing voice", 2) I am maturing (sort of), changing and coming into my own as a person (even though I was led to believe this was supposed to happen earlier in life), and 3) I am reading more of what other people write and it excites me and makes me wonder if I can have that same impact on a reader.

So here I am, writing about my life and experiences for others to read and maybe take something away from.

While I am in Alaska this summer, I do not know if I will be able to post, but i am leaning towards "most likely not". I will, however, be writing a lot when I have the time an energy to do so and my life is not being sucked away by saltwater and salmon. I may even write my posts in letters and have someone else post for me. My primary (and only?) form of contact with the outside would will be through handwritten letters, so when I have the address all of my fan and hate mail should be sent to, I will keep you apprised by posting it here, on my blog.

It is now 3am, so I think I will try to catch some sleep...my schedule has been a bit funny since I was deathly ill on Saturday and slept all day, followed by a strange day Sunday and then starting Sunday night on an 11pm-3am shift for a few days in a row....

Oh, and if you read my blog, share it with friends.

Fear and Discouragement

I am excited about going to Alaska, don't get me wrong, but where the excitement and reality meet is where I am finding a little bit of fear and discouragement.

I leave for Alaska in just about two months. Currently work is slow and I am collecting unemployment, which is a LOT less money than I make when I am working. I have bills stacking up that I need to take care of before I leave, I have to buy all my rain gear, boots, and commercial crewman fishing license before I go...

I find myself in a particularly strange place of complete and total reliance on God. I have little control over how much money I am making right now, and after running the numbers a few times over, I find that I am in a much tighter financial circumstance than anyone in their right mind would want to be before heading all the way across the country to work for six months at a job that will not pay anything until the contract term is over.

Fear and discouragement are creeping in, yet, by leaning on God and trusting Him, there is an almost disconcerting amount of peace that I am feeling in the midst of it. I was praying for this job and the experience it will bring me, if that is what God wanted... and it is what I have--along with a few challenges and faith.

"Please find attached a contract to work... from May 2nd through October 7th, 159 days."

After decades of dreaming, years of yearning... eh.. forget the alliteration.

I applied to work in Alaska for the summer at the end of December and after a little over a month, I got offered a contract on February 8th.

Whoot! the dream is becoming a reality!

Now all I need to do is sell over half the stuff I own, find some (hopefully) temporary housing for my dog, fly to Alaska, and start work--all in two month's time.

YIKES!

When I get ambitious, someone is in trouble... and it's ususally me

Being laid off sucks. I have too much free time. I do next to nothing with this free time, because I am waiting to be called back to work. I have, however been perusing the internet and reading all sorts of blogs, articles, and the like....

It occurred to me today that I should try to combine some of my ideas, interests, and passions into a money making endeavour. Now, this type of thought has crossed my mind before, and I've even come up with this exact same idea, but it swept over me like a wave this evening.

Some evident things:

1) I work as a carpenter
2) I like rock climbing
3) I like to be creative and working with customers to create unique designs and solutions.

BOOM!

How about starting a company that specializes in designing and building home climbing gyms? It serves a growing niche market, I wouldn't always have to build, as there are a lot of DIYers out there, but I could serve as a consultant as well....

After a Google search, it doesn't seem that there are any other companies in the area offering this kind of service.

Sweet.... now does anybody who took business classes in college want to help me write a business plan up so I can try to get some small business grants?

When I turned 30

Eight months ago,when I turned thirty, and the year leading up to it, I set some goals for myself. Technically, I have not broken any of those goals--they were not "when I TURN thirty" goals, they were "when I AM thirty" goals. An example of this would be "I am going to quit smoking when I am thirty"... Well, I still smoke on occasion, and I am still 30. I technically have to quit before I am thirty-one otherwise i have broken my goal (I love the English language)

So here I am, thirty years old, and I am going to start running again for the first time since high school.

I have always been moderately physically active. I am a rock climber, kayaker (is that a word?), hiker, backpacker, mountain and road cyclist. I've even been known to run once or twice during a game of ultimate frisbee or just for fun, but I have not run for the sake of running and fitness since I was on the rowing team in the fall of my senior year of high school... I'm not good at math, but that was over a decade ago.

So, as I sit here on my couch writing this post, I am downloading some podcasts to listen to when I start running using the Couch-to-5k Running Program (the program can be found at http://www.coolrunning.com. Podcasts are scattered all over the internet).

I may start today or tomorrow... or never.... But I did just buy a new pair of shoes that happen to be "running shoes". I didn't really buy them with the intention of running in mind, but I guess the idea was tucked back in some fold in my gray matter somewhere.

Here's to a healthier next 30 years!

Plastered

Since I am laid off right now, I am working on both my mother's and father's houses. My dad put an addition on his house to move his father up from Florida, and while we finished the downstairs part of it (my grandpa's "apartment") the upstairs is still not finished or tied into the rest of the house. Access, currently, is through a closet, and there are some floor elevation issues as well as needing to reroute some ductwork and frame for a new hallway to tie everything in. My mother's house has some plaster damage on the ceilings and walls which I need to attend to, as well as the subsequent painting. There are also a few odds and ends like putting a switch to the light in the laundry room (it is currently a pull chain light) and drilling out under the kitchen cabinets to run a water line to the refrigerator for the ice maker.

Today I am at my mom's house and I am waiting for the coat of mud on he walls and ceiling patches to dry (hence the time to write this post). As I am looking around at the walls and ceilings, I am noticing that other than the one wall I am working on, the walls are in pretty good shape (I think the plaster is about 60 years old) but the ceiling leaves much to be desired. the areas I am patching are not large, but where the old wall for the kitchen used to be before this house was remodeled some 40 years ago, as well as where old paint and plaster peeled or flaked YEARS ago and got painted over look, in my opinion, like crap. So that begs the question "Do I skim the whole ceiling flat, patch the areas I need to and try to blend the brush texture back in, or do I re-texture the entire ceiling?"

I already know that I am going to match the existing brush texture on the wall by skimming the whole surface after I am done with the patches and putting a new texture back on. It will be the easiest way to blend things back together, but the ceiling is much more surface area, obviously overhead (and who really likes working overhead), and I am just not sure what would be best for me to do in terms of my time and energy, as well as for the house (thinking future resale value). Right now I'm thinking about skimming the obvious area and then re-texturing by rolling either loose, wet mud or using texture paint.

Anyone else have any ideas for me?